How I work

Relationship therapy is a journey of discovery. You get to uncover things about you and your partner that will give you greater clarity about the way forward in your relationship. You will take a look inward, and gain valuable insights into yourself that will carry over to all relationships. My aim is to help you understand the parts of you (sometimes called defences, protectors or coping styles) that may be getting in the way of healthy, meaningful relationships. Once we’ve identified these parts ( ie. the people pleaser, the perfectionist, the avoider, the withdrawer etc.,) together we get to see how they play out in your relationships, and the cost of these.

Couples generally don’t get to therapy until they’re in some sort of crisis. For some couples, they may have done immense damage (verbal attacks, name calling, emotional or sexual affairs) that is hard to come back from. For other couples, they may feel that the emotional/intimate distance between them has become too great. For some couples, one of them feels blindsided when the other states that they’re not happy and wants to leave. Whatever your situation, you both have a part to play. It’s critical for the healing to begin, that each partner can take responsibility for their role.

Taking a look inward can be confronting at times hence another big part of my work is to provide a safe emotional space for you and your partner to explore what comes up. I have done a lot of work on noticing body cues that signify you may have gone over your anxiety threshold. The aim is to always ‘work’ in your window of tolerance.

My style of therapy is to work collaboratively and dynamically with you and your partner, to be curious, and to encourage compassion. It is very brave showing up as a couple and letting someone else into your inner world. It is a privilege, and I aim to honour you both and the process.